Service or Ambition?

Did a reading recently, or more accurately, Jesseca gave me a reading, with the Osho Zen Tarot deck. Jesseca, who has experimented with a lot of intuitive tools, uses it and trusts it. The other deck we’ve been fond of using is, of course, my new Earth Magic Oracle Cards, but we choose what we call the “Zen deck” for this reading. I’ve been grappling with a choice between one of two bookwriting projects, and one way to seek the counsel of Spirit is to see what the guides that communicate through these cards had to tell me about this concern.

Turned out to be very helpful. The central message of the reading was a reminder of the importance of staying tuned into Source for inspiration and guidance, no matter the question or concern. This was the main message, but there were other specific points that were pertinent to the question about the projects.

Amongst those was the message from one of the cards that suggested I needed to let go of the ambition of having a best seller with this or any other books I produce, and instead keep the primary focus on service. I’ve done my best to always keep service first and foremost in any of my writings, workshops, or private consultations, yet when it comes to books, I confess there are times when I’ve felt the need to have a bestseller. It would certainly be nice to achieve this, but it occurred to me that by being attached to the idea of a bestseller it would tend to diminish the importance of making service the priority.

When I asked myself whether I could live with never having a best seller, the answer was adamantly yes, I certainly could. Perhaps the occasional desire to have this was a distorted notion that I had something to prove, maybe some deep childhood yearning for parental approval and public accolades that would prove my worthiness. A definite ego trip!

Ambition is defined as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” It isn’t inherently wrong or bad, but when it’s dissociated from Spirit, from a sense of our soul’s purpose, there’s a risk that the blindness that results can do harm. Ambition can be driven by motivation and determination, but without inspiration as the primary guiding force, it compromises the soul’s purpose.
So now I turn to my trusty computer and start drafting a book proposal that I can feel passionate about and easily keep the main intention to be one of service. This reading was Spirit’s way of reminding me of my priorities, and of doing whatever I can to stay attuned to the promptings of Spirit.

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